Then and Now

'Give me some sunshine, give me some rain....give me another chance, I want to grow up once again.'....words from a song from the Hindi movie '3 idiots'. I was at the Indian grocery store this morning and this song was playing there. My daughter got excited listening to a song she knew and on the drive back home, we started singing the song together. As I was singing along, I was suddenly hit with a longing and yearning for my childhood days....almost wanting another chance to grow up once again. And the irony in the whole thing is....as a child, I could not wait to grow up. Now I realize that growing up was not everything it was cracked up to be and my childhood days were the most carefree days of my life. So armed with this realization, I want to go back in time and relive just one day of my childhood all over again.


Then, if it rained and I did not have an umbrella, I would just walk home in the rain not too bothered about getting wet (Of course, I would get an earful from my Mom...what if you get sick???...but at that time it didn't matter). Now, if it rains and I don't have an umbrella, I will wait in the shelter for the rain to stop (Can't get wet in the rain....what if I get sick??).


Then, I would go to the roadside vendors with my friend and indulge in the pani puris (Sheer bliss!). Now, on my visits back home, I think twice before doing that.


Then, I would start reading a book and not put it down until I was done with it...I would be so lost in the pages of the book and mesmerized with what I am reading (Mom would get annoyed sometimes, but I would still keep reading). Now, I can barely read a page of a book before I have to stop because my children need me or something in my home needs to be done.

Then, I would wake up in the mornings with pretty much nothing going on in my head. Now, even before I am out of the bed, the mental to do list for the day is already in my head.

Then, a taxi ride brought so much joy. Now, I drive a car everyday and it does nothing for me.

Then, everything was black or white....everything could be easily classified as good or bad. Now, I know that everything is a shade of grey....everything is subjective....classification of good or bad completely depends upon the circumstances.

Then, I was a carefree young girl looking at the world through a kaleidoscope of colors. Now, I am a grown woman, a responsible wife and mother who sees things as they are.

And while I am happy in the 'Now' that I am in, I miss the 'Then' that I used to be in....I miss those carefree days. So give me some sunshine, give me some rain...give me just one day to visit my childhood once again.

Now, my son tells me he can't wait to grow up.....and I tell him to enjoy his childhood days because one day he is going to miss these days so much. Then, the realization dawns on me that I owe my happy wonderful childhood memories to my parents who stood as a shield in front of me, protected me and indulged me so that I could have those carefree days.

Now, it is my turn as a mother to give my children their happy childhood memories. Then, years later when they look back, they will also want just one day to visit their childhood once again.

Signing off nostalgic for the many moments that made up my childhood and this quote by Robert Brault

'In childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking out. In memories of childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking in.'