Beauty

When I talk about Beauty, I am not talking about the things that appeal to the eyes…..I am talking about the things that appeal to my soul.

As I work from home, there are days when I stay up late to get work done. My family is in bed fast asleep and there is silence everywhere….inside and outside. After a long day spent taking care of my home and kids…..that silence is beautiful.

When I wake up in the mornings and open the windows in my kitchen, I can hear the birds chirping outside signaling the beginning of another beautiful day…..that happy chirping is beautiful.

When I run errands, I usually have the music on in my car….usually old Hindi songs which keep playing over and over again until I change the cassette. Now my 3 year old daughter doesn’t go to school yet and is always with me wherever I go. So, though she doesn’t speak or understand Hindi, she can sing all the songs that play in my car. So as Kishore Kumar sings ‘Mere sapnon ki rani’….that little voice in the backseat singing ‘Chali aa tu chali aa’ along with him is beautiful.

When I bake brownies (my son and my weakness), it fills up the house with a wonderful aroma. And as soon as my son steps into the house when he returns from school, he asks me with a lot of happiness….Mumma, did you bake brownies today?......that aroma of the brownies is beautiful.

Thanks to the social networking site Facebook, I get to see pictures of the places my friends visit….places in the US, places in India, places around the world which I have never seen before. The pictures take me on a mental journey of the places they have seen making me feel like I have seen the places myself. Those pictures….that make me travel the world without leaving my home are beautiful.

Sometimes, I try out a new recipe. And later, I ask my husband how the dish was. Now, like all wives, all over the world….I usually ask him this question when he is in front of the TV watching sports. Hey, don’t judge me…..Iike all wives….I have no patience to wait if I need to ask my husband something I am dying to know. So, he replies without taking his eyes off the TV….Of course it was nice…you are a good cook. My husband is not one to give an insincere compliment….so, I am typing this with a big smile on my face…..that passing compliment is beautiful.

Sometimes, when I read a good book or watch a good movie, I get lost in it. I can get totally engrossed in it……that experience which takes me to a make believe world is beautiful.

When I really laugh, I get tears in my eyes. Most people start wondering if I am ok. But it is just my happiness…the fact that I am enjoying their company thoroughly and have totally let myself go…..that feeling of joy is beautiful.

My children when they play with each other fill my house with squeals of laughter and delight. It is a treat to hear them….that sound of my children playing with each other is beautiful.

My car has a flat tire today and as I told my 3 year old daughter about it, she had a fix for it. With wide eyes, she seriously told me….Just use sticky tape and band aids to fix it Mumma (she picked that up from the Dora show she watches on television)….that innocent look on her face is beautiful.

Sometimes, when I look up at the sky during sunset, the sky is painted with so many different colors. It is not just visually satisfying….it really touches me within…..that sky at dusk is beautiful.

My daughter and son never go to bed without saying goodnight to their Dad and me. My son will say goodnight at least 20 times before he sleeps. But at times, especially if I am working, my daughter goes off to sleep in her Dad’s arms while watching TV with him and misses saying goodnight to me. The next morning when she wakes up, the first thing she tells me with a sad look on her face is…..I missed saying goodnight to you yesterday…..that love that my children have for me is very very beautiful.

Signing off truly believing that if you look around, you can find beauty in the little little things around you and this quote by Ashley Smith

‘Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.’

Friendship

Yesterday, I wrote a blog post and a poem. Now, one of my friends thought they were nice but also thought that they were very sad. And sensing that perhaps they were sad because I was feeling a bit low and down, she suggested that we should meet for lunch today. And one of the first things she told me when we met was….Please, please don’t be sad…Please come back to your positive self. Now this friend, I know her for about 5 months now. We met on January 1, 2011 at the New Year party. Nobody introduced us….like she says …Our Mumbai antennae found each other….we just got acquainted …..have become really close friends…and today she cared enough to feel that she did not want to see me sad. Yes……True friendships can be formed in an instant.

About a month ago, my best friend since 5^th grade visited me. And though we talk to each other regularly, we were meeting again after 11 years. And yet, the passage of time did not matter at all. We picked up right where we had left off. After she left, I was missing her terribly when she called saying….As nice as it is to talk to you over the phone, it was wonderful sitting down and talking to you face to face again. Even after all these years, nothing has changed. Yes…..True friendships withstand the passage of time.

It was my son’s first day at kindergarten where I met another Mom. Her son and my son went on to become best friends. Her daughter and my daughter are also of the same age and would play together. But the best part…today, we are really good friends. After I moved to another state, because of the time difference our sons hardly get a chance to talk to each other. But we talk regularly…..share our lives happenings and truly miss each other. Yes…..True friendships can happen anywhere….even in your child’s school.

My son was about 3 years old when my husband was suddenly admitted to the hospital early one morning with severe stomach pain. He was diagnosed as needing to have an appendectomy and the doctors told me that I could not keep my son with me in the hospital anymore. My family and my husband’s family are all in India. So I went home, picked up the phone and at 5 in the morning called one of our closest friends saying…My husband is in the hospital, can you please take care of my son today? My friend’s response…Put the phone down…..I am coming to pick up your son. That day, our friends took turns taking care of my son while I stayed with my husband in the hospital. Yes….True friends will come rushing to your help no matter what time of the day it is.

Throughout my life, at every stage…school, college, work…everywhere, I have been blessed with some great friends who still continue to be very much a part of my life. They are my cheerleaders, my supporters, my shoulders to cry on, my pillars, my strength…..yes, they are my friends. And I truly believe that in friendships the words SORRY and THANK YOU should be used. If you have hurt your friend, say SORRY…..don’t lose a good friendship over misunderstandings. If your friend has done something nice for you, say THANK YOU…..don’t take them for granted. Because no matter what happens, true friends are the ones who will always stand by you.

Signing off blessed with many great friends and this quote on friendship

‘A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.’

Life goes on

Sometimes, we have to face certain situations in our life where we feel that our world is coming to an end. It could be the death of a loved one, the death of a relationship, actions or words of the ones we love which leave us confused, hurt and disturbed. Whatever the reason, at those times it feels like the ground under our feet is opening up or the sky is falling on our head. There is a lot of heartache and pain. But the amazing thing is that despite feeling this way…..we deal with it…..and whether it takes days, months or sometimes even years…..we heal…..we recover…..because the simple thing is that…..no matter what happens….Life goes on.

Human beings are a very resilient bunch. We are tougher than we give ourselves credit for…..and we can pretty much face anything that is thrown our way. That is the reason why we rebuilt cities destroyed by a hurricane or an earthquake or a tsunami. The survival instinct in human beings is very strong….and so we deal with the issues we are faced with in whatever way we can….whether it is with a brave smile on our face or by crying ourselves to sleep at night…..whether it is standing in front of God with a prayer and a plea or immersing ourselves into focusing on the things we love…..whether it is sitting down alone and thinking in quiet reflection or by crying on the shoulder of a trusted friend….whether it is talking about it or remaining silent…..we deal, we cope, we bounce back as only we can and we stand tall…..because human beings are survivors capable of dealing with the toughest of situations. And though it is true that our life may have changed because of whatever has happened…..it has not ended…..it never will….Life, simply, goes on.

Signing off strongly believing that no matter what happens Life will go on and this quote by Robert Frost

‘In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life. It goes on.’

The Last Lecture

Recently, a friend gave me a book to read. ‘The Last Lecture’ by Randy Pausch. ‘The Last Lecture’ is a talk that many professors are asked to give. They are asked to hypothetically imagine their death and think about what they would like to leave behind after they are no more. Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon was also asked to give this talk. In his case, however, the situation was not hypothetical….he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The book ‘The Last Lecture’ was based on the talk he had given….the talk was called ‘Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams’…..and as Randy states…..his last lecture was not about death but about life.

I love to read but find it very difficult to find the time to read. So, I sneak in the time whenever I can. A few days back, as I was waiting in my car outside my son’s martial arts class, I started reading the book. I had seen Randy Pausch’s last lecture on the Internet, found it to be very inspiring and had then forgotten about it. I was halfway through the book (which talks about how you should never forget your childhood dreams and should really try hard to achieve them)…..when I suddenly realized that I did not know if Randy Pausch was still alive. And so, I got on the Internet on my phone and was deeply saddened to read that in July 2008 at the age of 47, Randy Pausch had passed away. It was difficult to imagine that the person whose book I was reading….written in such a way, that while I was reading it, I felt that he was sitting in front of me and talking to me….was no more. Death is inevitable…..we are all going to face it someday….but to know that Death is really close by and still continue ‘living’ with optimism and a positive attitude…..I admire that spirit demonstrated by Randy Pausch.

That night, as I was chatting with my friend who gave me the book, I told her I loved the book and that I was sad to read that Randy Pausch was no more. And she told me…Yes, he is no more….but he left behind a huge legacy for his three children (who were ages five, two and one when he gave the lecture). And it was then that it struck me…..that in a way my blog and my writings are my legacy to my children…..not because of what I write in them but because by writing…..I am pursuing and trying to achieve my childhood dream….of becoming a writer.

My blog was about two months old when my father started asking me if I was maintaining print copies of my blog posts. And I (queen of procrastination….it is amazing how I can be thoroughly organized and well planned for certain things and can really really procrastinate on certain others)….would always tell him…Not yet, but I will do it. Until one day, he told me…print them….not for yourself, not for me….but for my grandchildren, your kids….That did the trick and I printed the posts. Randy mentioned in his lecture that he was not giving the talk for the 400 people in the audience…..his talk was only for 3 people…..his children. I hope that someday, even if I am not around, my children read what I wrote, understand that by writing I made the time out to follow my childhood dream…..and feel inspired and motivated to make the time in their busy lives to do the things that they love or really want to do.

Signing off to go read another chapter from the book ‘The Last Lecture’ by Randy Pausch and these lines from the book

‘Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something.’

Fear of failure

On the morning of May 11, 2011 a friend called S Divyadarshini, a law graduate from Chennai to let her know that she had topped the Indian Civil Services Exam 2010. She was amazed….she had expected to get into the IAS service but had not expected to be a topper. And when she was asked to speak about her achievement, she mentioned….Failure did not dishearten me. You see, she had appeared for the same exam in 2009 and had not passed the exam. However, she did not let her failure stop her…..she tried harder….not only passing the exam the next time she wrote it….but topping the exam…..an achievement that she can indeed be very proud of.

I was talking to my father recently and during the course of our conversation, I told him about how I had doubts about something I had taken up….how I was feeling overwhelmed and fearing that perhaps I couldn’t do it. In response, my father told me about a Mountain Dew commercial that airs on Indian television which has this line in Hindi….’Darr ke aage jeet hai’….which means, If you cross your fear, you will attain victory. With that line, my father told me not to give up, to keep trying and to not let my fears and doubts stop me.

Fear of failure….I have experienced/continue to experience this fear many times. This fear is not just in my mind…..I react to it physically too….a sinking feeling in the stomach, a rapid heartbeat, a nervous cough, a dry throat….very all consuming is this fear. And like the Mountain Dew commercial states….there are only 2 options…to be sacred or to face your fears. You can either let this fear stop you from doing new things or you can face this fear and keep going. Because I speak from experience when I say that the victory that you achieve when you have conquered your fear is well worth it…..that victory is very very sweet.

Signing off never wanting to let the fear of failure to ever hold me back and this quote by Frederick Smith

‘Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something.’

The I's of my life

India – India….the country I was born in….which is still mine even after years of living away. The place where my roots are….where my parents live….a place which I still call ‘HOME’. There is infinite pride when India achieves something (the recent win of the World Cup in Cricket) and annoyance/irritation/anger when I read about the issues in India like corruption, malpractices and bureaucracy. Yes, even after years of living away, India is still very much mine and when a non-Indian here in the US asks me…Where are you from….the answer always is…..INDIA.

Inspiration – I consider myself to be very lucky….I am surrounded by people who continue to inspire me and I don’t need to look far to be inspired…..A friend’s painting inspires me to write and to learn to paint, another friend’s charity work inspires me to do some charity work myself, people making time in their busy lives to follow their passions inspire me to follow mine…writing, people learning to do new things keep me inspired to keep trying new things…..and thus I am continuously inspired by people around me….friends as well as strangers….they keep me wanting to keep challenging myself….as I draw INSPIRATION from them.

Impression - Like most human beings, when I meet someone for the first time, I walk away from the meeting with an IMPRESSION about them….about how I feel about them. And like is said, the first impression is the best impression….I usually have difficulty changing any negative opinion I may have formed….and that I know is not a good thing. Judging someone at just one meeting is not correct…..we can only really understand and know another person after getting to know them well. Most people will never present their true self in front of others….there is usually a cloak….many layers that are in the front….which are there so that they are not left vulnerable in front of others. So, I do my best in not judging someone at first impression.

Internet – INTERNET….my one stop for….staying in touch with family and friends, working from home, reading the news, listening to the music, researching on pretty much any topic and of course…..blogging.

Ideas – Many people ask me how I come up with the topics I blog about. They just come to me as IDEAS….thoughts that are triggered by the commonest of common things….a conversation , something I see on the television, something I read, a song, people I meet….the ideas just come triggering thought processes which flow into my writing.

Improvement – Of all the I’s of my life, I think IMPROVEMENT is the most important one. There is always room for improvement everywhere and it is that thought which keeps me wanting to better and better myself in whatever I do…..and hopefully this constant quest for improvement will not only help me do a good job in whatever I do….it will also help me become a better person.

Signing off not wanting ‘Inhibitions’ to restrict me and knowing that sometimes you have to listen to your ‘Instincts’ and ‘Intuition’ and this quote by Isaac Newton

‘We build too many walls and not enough bridges.’

Letting go

A few days back, I heard a song by Crystal Shawanda. Titled ‘You can let go’, the song is from a daughter to her father. And listening to the beautiful song made me think about ‘Letting go’.

Too many times we hold on to too many things in our life…..the past, some unpleasant memories, pain, frustrations, regrets and even people who no longer have a place in our lives. We know we need to let go, but it is difficult. In the deepest corners of our minds, these things lurk surfacing every now and then causing heartaches and pulling us down. It is definitely difficult to let go but it is not impossible. And it requires two things…..acceptance and forgiveness. Acceptance….that things have happened, they cannot be changed and they are a part of who you are. Forgiveness… forgiving others may be needed….but the person you really need to forgive is yourself because somehow no matter what has happened, we tend to blame ourselves….I guess that is human nature…the tendency to over analyze things.

I love the beach. Standing on a beach and watching the sun set is one of the things that I find very calming and peaceful. So when I need to let go of something, I picture myself standing on the shore and dropping it into the waters. Now, usually the beach waves do their best to try and return whatever you dropped into the waters back to you. So, I imagine myself turning around and walking away. And even though I am very tempted to look back, I don’t….I just keep walking. This visualization always helps me to let go….because one thing I know for sure….unless you ‘LET GO’ you cannot ‘MOVE ON’.

Signing off knowing that there are still many things that I need to ‘let go’ and the lyrics of the song that inspired this post (for all the Dads and their little girls out there).

Wind blowin’ on my face
Sidewalk flyin’ beneath my bike
A five year-old’s first taste
Of what freedom’s really like
He was runnin’ right beside me
His hand holdin’ on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It’s still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

I was standin’ at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I’ve been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked,
‘Who gives this woman?’
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears
He kept holdin’ tightly to my arm
‘Till I whispered in his ear
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

It was killin’ me to see
The strongest man I ever knew
Wastin’ away to nothin’
In that hospital room
‘You know he’s only hangin’ on for you’
That’s what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breakin’
As I crawled up in his bed, and said
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready
To do this on my own
It’s gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
You can let go

The Price of Silence

On March 8, 2011, International Women's Day, a girl named Radhika Tanwar bid goodbye to her family and left her home to go to college. As usual, she along with her friends took a bus to get to her South Delhi college. The bus dropped them opposite their college and they then had to take a foot-over bridge to get to the college. Just as 20 year old Radhika was walking on the bridge, someone shot her from behind. Radhika died within minutes. Her family was shocked. They could not understand what had happened....why would somebody want to kill Radhika? The police investigation started and in a few days, Radhika's killer was caught. And the story that unraveled was frightening. The person who killed Radhika was her 'stalker'. Three and a half years ago he had stalked Radhika who had complained to the local residents. They had bashed him up and the stalking had stopped. The guy was not someone known to Radhika....he was just a random stranger who used to see her regularly on the road and who had taken a liking to her. What Radhika did not know was that she had become an obsession for the guy. And even though three and a half years ago, he had left Delhi to go to Mumbai he had never stopped obsessing about her. He had returned to Delhi a few days before he shot Radhika. He had then approached Radhika again and tried to talk to her but she snubbed him. Humiliated, he had decided that if Radhika could not be his.....she would be no one's....and he killed her. Radhika had never mentioned any of this to any of her family members....not three years ago....not even three days ago....she chose not to share any of this with her family.....she chose to remain quiet....and ended up paying a heavy price for her silence.


As a young girl growing up in Mumbai, I myself have been at the receiving end of many stares, glares, passing snide vulgar comments from strangers....men...on the road. And it is not just me.....most young girls have faced this/still continue to face it. As you are waiting at the bus stop, in the bus, on your way to the train station, at the market....there is just no escaping it. And like most young girls, I chose to ignore it too....pretend it was not happening.....and never talked about it at home. (Of course, there never was a situation where someone harassed me or made me uncomfortable enough to make me need to talk to my family about it). The reasons most girls choose silence are many.....generation gap between parents and children, communication gap between parents and children, not wanting their parents to worry and the tendency of parents to over react. (Some parents restrict their daughter's activities upon hearing such things.....almost making the daughter out to be the culprit instead of the victim). In the process, daughters end up not feeling comfortable enough to talk to their parents. So parents, if you have young daughters....please sit down and talk to them....tell them to let you know if anyone....ANYONE....is making them uncomfortable with any kind of unwanted attention. Reassure your daughters that you will LISTEN to them.....that you will protect them....and will take care of the issue by reporting it to the proper authorities if needed. Because sometimes....in order to open up and speak to you....daughters need that reassurance.


Signing off hoping that what happened to Radhika Tanwar never happens again to any other girl and this quote by Winston Churchill


'Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen'

Being a Mother

This Sunday May 8th is Mother's Day and so I thought of writing a blog post on being a mother. I have already written two blog posts on this topic....'A Mother and A Daughter' and 'Mamma Mia'....so for this post I thought of stopping, turning around and taking a look back at the last seven and a half years that I have been a Mother myself. And the following are my observations on my own journey as a Mother:

1. Nothing in this world can prepare you for labor and delivery. Seriously, nothing. There is a reason it is termed 'LABOR'....it is a lot of hard work.

2. Labor pains and the discomfort of delivery is possibly the best example of short term memory. The minute you lay your eyes on your child, you forget everything related to the pain and discomfort...those memories just vanish into thin air.

3. The first time you hold your child....especially your first born....along with happiness and pride you also experience a sinking feeling of uncertainty and fear as it hits you that you are now responsible for this tiny fragile human being whom you are even afraid to touch lest you hurt him/her. What you don't know is that the minute you laid your eyes on your child....you are already a changed person....you are now a mother whom Nature has equipped very well to deal with motherhood.

4. Every mother remembers every single detail of the day her child was born. And she has recounted the story of her labor and delivery at least once to another mom.....she has more than likely not shared all the details even with her spouse....but she has definitely shared it with another Mom....for the simple reason that only another woman who has gone through it will understand.

5. A mother has an uncanny ability to know when her child needs her. I will sleep through an alarm clock ringing right next to my ears.....but I will wake up in the middle of the night if my child so much as coughs a little in another room. This ability never ceases to surprise me.

6. You understand the term 'sleep deprivation' in the first few months after your child is born. Yet, you do it all and you do it happily. And then years later when you look back...you wonder how it was humanly possible to function with such little sleep.

7. Mothers really do have eyes at the back of their head. My mother used to always surprise my sister and me by knowing what we were upto without even turning around. Now, I am the same.....always surprising my son who asks me with awe-struck eyes....Mamma, how did you know??...And my answer is the same that my Mother gave me.....Mummy knows everything.

8. A mother will criticize, discipline and scold her children. But she cannot bear somebody else saying anything negative about her kids. The instinct to nurture and protect her children is just too strong to allow that.

9. To a mother, her child will always be a child no matter how old the child gets. And she will always worry about her child.....just the reasons for worrying keep changing. This may be highly annoying to the children....I myself have told my Mom many times...stop worrying, I am not a baby anymore.....but now I know....just like her, to me my children will always be my babies and I will always worry about them.

10. A mother is a source of great comfort to her children. My son says...I love talking to you, Mamma and my daughter wants me to kiss her and wipe her tears when she is hurt. As for me, when I am sick, I pick up the phone and call my Mom....just listening to her voice makes me feel better.

11. At least once (if not more times) in your journey of motherhood, you turn into your own Mom. You find yourself repeating those exact words to your kids that you yourself found highly annoying when they came from your mother to you. It surprises you and in that instant you realize....she was right all along.

12. Of all the names that I am called today 'Mamma' or 'Mummy' is to me the sweetest one and even though there are days when the constant Mammas/Mummys get to me.....it is also the name that gives me the most happiness.

13. Until I became a mother, I did not know that it was humanly possible for me to love another human being to such an extent. A mother's love is pure, unconditional and a mother will pretty much forgive her child anything.

14. Being a mother myself has helped me understand and appreciate two other women in my life.....my own mother and my mother-in-law.

So, the journey has been one of all kinds of emotions....tears, frustrations, doubts, worries, smiles, laughter, giggles.......but mostly it has been one of infinite happiness. And I strongly believe that every 'Mother knows best' when it comes to raising her own children. To your own child YOU are the perfect Mom and nobody else can take your place.

Signing off wishing 'A Very Happy Mother's Day' to all you terrific, fabulous Moms out there and this quote by Margaret Culkin Banning

'She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along'

Then and Now

'Give me some sunshine, give me some rain....give me another chance, I want to grow up once again.'....words from a song from the Hindi movie '3 idiots'. I was at the Indian grocery store this morning and this song was playing there. My daughter got excited listening to a song she knew and on the drive back home, we started singing the song together. As I was singing along, I was suddenly hit with a longing and yearning for my childhood days....almost wanting another chance to grow up once again. And the irony in the whole thing is....as a child, I could not wait to grow up. Now I realize that growing up was not everything it was cracked up to be and my childhood days were the most carefree days of my life. So armed with this realization, I want to go back in time and relive just one day of my childhood all over again.


Then, if it rained and I did not have an umbrella, I would just walk home in the rain not too bothered about getting wet (Of course, I would get an earful from my Mom...what if you get sick???...but at that time it didn't matter). Now, if it rains and I don't have an umbrella, I will wait in the shelter for the rain to stop (Can't get wet in the rain....what if I get sick??).


Then, I would go to the roadside vendors with my friend and indulge in the pani puris (Sheer bliss!). Now, on my visits back home, I think twice before doing that.


Then, I would start reading a book and not put it down until I was done with it...I would be so lost in the pages of the book and mesmerized with what I am reading (Mom would get annoyed sometimes, but I would still keep reading). Now, I can barely read a page of a book before I have to stop because my children need me or something in my home needs to be done.

Then, I would wake up in the mornings with pretty much nothing going on in my head. Now, even before I am out of the bed, the mental to do list for the day is already in my head.

Then, a taxi ride brought so much joy. Now, I drive a car everyday and it does nothing for me.

Then, everything was black or white....everything could be easily classified as good or bad. Now, I know that everything is a shade of grey....everything is subjective....classification of good or bad completely depends upon the circumstances.

Then, I was a carefree young girl looking at the world through a kaleidoscope of colors. Now, I am a grown woman, a responsible wife and mother who sees things as they are.

And while I am happy in the 'Now' that I am in, I miss the 'Then' that I used to be in....I miss those carefree days. So give me some sunshine, give me some rain...give me just one day to visit my childhood once again.

Now, my son tells me he can't wait to grow up.....and I tell him to enjoy his childhood days because one day he is going to miss these days so much. Then, the realization dawns on me that I owe my happy wonderful childhood memories to my parents who stood as a shield in front of me, protected me and indulged me so that I could have those carefree days.

Now, it is my turn as a mother to give my children their happy childhood memories. Then, years later when they look back, they will also want just one day to visit their childhood once again.

Signing off nostalgic for the many moments that made up my childhood and this quote by Robert Brault

'In childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking out. In memories of childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking in.'