Man's fury

On 24 January 2011, a terrorist attack at a Moscow airport killed at least 35 people and injured at least 180. And again, some more innocents lost their lives to man's misdirected hatred and fury. Incidents such as these have instilled certain dark and bleak emotions and thoughts in me....I can't shake them off....I can't get rid of them no matter how hard I try. Firstly, whenever my husband travels by air alone, I worry until he reaches his destination and when he is travelling back, I worry until he reaches home. Secondly, when the four of us travel by air together as a family, one thought always pops into my head....I really have no control over that thought....it just comes and it always comes....At least we are all together if something happens. I know human life is fragile. I am aware of the fact that we are all here today but will be gone tomorrow. But to lose a loved one to the senseless act of another human being....there is just no justification or acceptability for that....how does one deal with that? I know in today's world there are many mothers, wives, sisters and daughters like me, who have this nagging horrible thought in their head every time their loved one steps out of the house to go to work, take the train, take the subway, take the bus or simply just go to the market....will I see my loved one again? I dread the day I will have to explain such acts to my children...that day will come...something will happen...they will watch it on the news or read it in the papers....and want to know why? How do I explain it to them? I myself can't understand it. And then I think about those children who are already dealing with the loss of their loved ones to terrorist attacks...how their innocent world must have shattered completely...how for them it is not something that is on the news or in the papers....how for them it is their reality...a horrible reality.

Signing off knowing that the void created when you lose your loved ones to a terrorist act can never be filled and this passing thought

'Over the weekend, I had been to the store to buy some T-shirts for my son. One of the T-shirts at the store said..."Can we all just get along?"...........My sentiments exactly. Really, nothing more to be said.'

Home

After being in the US for 12 years, this is where my home is. This is where I wake up every morning and this where I go to bed every night. This is where my husband and I work. This is where my kids were born and this is where they are being raised. This is where I cook for my family and this is where we have dinner together every night. This is the air I breathe and this is the ground on which I walk. This is where I have many friends and this is where 'MY FAMILY' is.


And yet, every time I book my tickets to go to India, I excitedly tell my friends here....I am going home. And somehow, even after 12 years my India continues to be my home.


India will always be home because that is where as a child I was excited about sitting near the window seat of the local trains and travelling by taxis. India is home because that is where I have grown up reading countless comic books...Tinkle, Chandamama, Bahadur, Phantom, Mandrake, Richie Rich, Asterix, Tintin, Disney comics, Archie comics...oh, the list is endless. India is home because that is where as a young girl I went to sleep with the radio by my head listening to Binaca Geetmala and Hindi movie songs.


India will always be home because that is where I walked to school during the monsoons wearing a raincoat and splashing my feet in the rainwater. India is home because that is where I took B.E.S.T bus number 253 every morning to get to college. India is home because that is where I took the 9.05 am train from Andheri to Churchgate to get to work and the 6.13 pm 'ladies special' train to get back home. India is home because in the 9.05 am train, I had train friends with whom I spent the 45 minute journey singing Hindi movie songs or playing Antakshari.


India will always be home because that is where my best friend and I took a long walk down the road just so we could eat the 'perfect panipuris'. India is home because that is where I looked forward to the monsoon season so I could eat 'butta' (roasted corn) while standing out in the rain. India is home because summer season meant 'Alphonso' mangoes. India is home because that is where my friends and I rushed out during the breaks of our cost accounting classes in college so we could eat vadapavs and sandwiches.


India will always be home because that is where I grew up with my little sister......playing, giggling, singing, talking and yes, sometimes even quarrelling so much that Mom would get frustrated and say.....You girls, always arguing. You will know when you grow up and are on opposite ends of the world and don't get to see each other. My sister and I are best friends today...but sadly, the part about us being in opposite ends of the world has come true. So, India is home because that is where my sister lives with her family.


India will always be home because that is where I met my husband for the first time. India is home because that is where I got married to him in front of a large gathering while it rained outside. India is home because that is where my husband's family and lovely extended family of uncles, aunts and cousins welcomed me into their fold with open arms.


And so, India will always be home because that is where I spent my childhood, where I grew up, where I celebrated many a Vishu, Onam, Diwali, Ganesh Chathurthi, Janmashtami, Holi and Navaratri and because...that is where my parents live. And I am one of those lucky ones, who has 2 different countries to equally call 'HOME'.


Signing off wishing Indians everywhere a 'Happy Republic Day' and this quote on India by Mark Twain


'So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked'

10 Cancer symptoms in women

One of my earlier post 'The color PINK' was about breast cancer and its symptoms. This morning I read about 10 things that women should not ignore about cancer. This blog post is to repeat the 10 things in order to create awareness about cancer in women.

Listed below are some cancer symptoms which are usually overlooked by women. If any of these symptoms are there for a prolonged period or there is a frequent recurrence, it is time to schedule a visit with your doctor.

1. Unexplained weight loss, loss of appetite or weakness and fatigue.
2. An oral ulcer that refuses to heal.
3. Difficulty swallowing.
4. Swollen neck nodes, nodes in the underarms or any other abnormal swellings on the body.
5. Any lump in the breast, nipple discharge.
6. Long standing cough with or without expectoration (phlegm or mucus) or Hemoptysis (coughing up of blood or blood stained phlegm).
7. Bloating, abdominal pain, rectal bleeding or blood in the stool.
8. Unusual heavy menstrual bleeding or inter-menstrual bleeding.
9. Any abnormal vaginal discharge or post-coital bleeding.
10. Blood in the urine or stools.

Some years back, I lost my beloved father-in-law to cancer. His absence is felt every day of our lives and we miss him a lot.

Signing off feeling very very sad and this quote by cancer survivor Lance Armstrong

'If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up or fight like hell.'

Meri Aawaz - My Voice

Last week, I read about Brenda Jensen, a 52 year old woman who underwent a rare transplant surgery at the University of California Medical Center in Sacramento, California. An international team of surgeons replaced Jensen's voice box in an 18 hour operation in October 2010. It was the second successful voice box transplant in the world. Just 13 days after the operation, Brenda Jensen who lost her voice after a breathing tube permanently damaged her airway, spoke after 11 years of silence to tell her surgeons....I want to go home. And through the miracle of science, she had her voice back.


Our voice...distinct to us. My Mom once mentioned that whenever I call her, I never tell her my name...it's always just...Mom, it's me. And of course my voice gives me away and she knows exactly who it is at the other end of the line.


I use my voice in so many different ways. I use my voice to express love and I use my voice to get angry. I use my voice to be persuasive and I use my voice to soothe my children. I use my voice when I am happy and I use my voice when I am sad. I use my voice to talk to friends and I use my voice to talk to strangers. I use my voice to sing. I use my voice to express my opinion. I use my voice to argue. I use my voice to be a tease and I use my voice to be a voice of reason. Sometimes, I use my voice rashly without thinking and sometimes, I use my voice carefully after a lot of thought.


But then, regrettably, there have been times in the past when I have not used my voice. I have not used my voice to say 'Sorry' and have ended up losing people close to me. I have not used my voice to clear up misunderstandings not realizing the importance of the other person in my life. I have not used my voice to say 'I love you' to the people in my life who mean everything to me.


Signing off using my voice to say 'I love you' to my family and friends who complete me and these lines from a Hindi movie song


'Naam gum jaayega, chehra yeh badal jayega...Meri Aawaz hi pehchan hai, gar yaad rahe'
Translated : Name and face may change, but my voice will remain the same, if you care to remember'

Inspiration

Who is your inspiration? A standard question asked in beauty pageants. The contestants usually have very well rehearsed responses to that question. I myself have found my inspiration in unlikely places...at times when I have least expected it...some celebrities, some not...but been equally inspired by each one of them.



When I was in the 7th grade in school, my English teacher told me she wanted to talk to me. When I went to meet her, she told me she had been reading my essays and she thought I was very expressive. She said she enjoyed reading what I wrote and then suggested I should start writing regularly...poems, stories, basically anything I wanted to. Her only advice to me...Just write straight from the heart just as you do now. My teacher, who introduced me to my passion of writing, is my inspiration.


A few months ago, actor Hrithik Roshan had appeared on a singing reality show. He was asked about his first movie 'Kaho Na Pyaar Hai'. He recounted how he had entered the theatre to watch the premiere of the movie with not many people knowing who he was. Three hours later, the movie was a big hit, Hrithik Roshan had become a star, there was a mob scene outside the theatre and he had to be whisked away amidst police protection. The next day the media talked about his overnight success. On the show Hrithik Roshan said...Was it really overnight? Or was it the 10 years of hard work that I had put in before that? That kind of commitment, is my inspiration. As Hrithik mentioned on the show, if you have a passion for something...singing, music, dance, writing....take 15 minutes out everyday to follow that passion...be committed. Today, when I have started writing again, the way I find time for it amidst my busy schedule, is while I am cooking in the kitchen. While dicing the vegetables, sauteing the onions and stirring the gravy, I am thinking about my next blog post. There is now a pen and paper always handy in my kitchen drawer to jot down what I want to write. And even as I wrap up my cooking, the sentences have been formed in my head and my next blog post has been written...and I have spent some time during my day following my passion.


Some years back I had to undergo surgery due to some health issues. That night I shared my room with a 92 year old Spanish lady who had suffered a stroke. She was obviously in pain and kept moaning all night. Next morning, when her daughter came to visit...she came to meet me. She said...Sorry, the nurses told me that my Mom was moaning a lot last night...I know you probably did not get any sleep at all...But thank you for being patient. Then she said...Many people tell me to put my Mom in a nursing home and have someone else take care of her...But I can't let her go...She is my Mom...I will take care of her as long as she is here in this world. That daughter, is my inspiration.


Actress Madhuri Dixit is back in India to judge a dancing reality show. People can't stop praising her...and rightly so. On one show, dance choreographer Saroj Khan who has choreographed many of Madhuri's famous dances, mentioned how Madhuri rehearsed day and night to get the dance steps perfect for her hit song 'Ek do teen'. Even after Saroj Khan told her that she did not need to rehearse any more, she would still refuse to stop rehearsing. That kind of dedication, is my inspiration. No wonder Madhuri has achieved all success today and yes, as is evident on the dance show...when she is called out to give an impromptu dance performance, she remembers all her dance steps even today.


One of my son's teachers from California....a very pleasant and cheerful lady....always with a smile on her face...very well loved by all her students. One week she did not come to school. When she resumed work, she sent a note to all parents explaining the reason for her absence. Her 3 year old son had a problem with his kidneys. He remained sick quite a lot. The past week he had been seriously ill and she was home taking care of him. Looking at her , one would never guess she had so much sadness in her life. Her cheerful and positive attitude, is my inspiration.


Signing off continuing to be inspired in different ways by all the people in my life and this inspiring quote by Reinhold Niebuhr


'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference'.

The color ORANGE

The setting sun...always a beautiful sight. The setting sun...an inspiration to many a poet and writer. I love watching the sun set while sitting on a beach. As the blazing yellow sun, impossible to look at during the day, mellows down into the color ORANGE and slowly sinks down into the water...it always takes my breath away. The most beautiful sunset I have seen in my life has to be the one at Kanyakumari beach....that sunset is not just one to be seen...but one to be experienced...and felt.


Kanyakumari located at the tip of India is where the three seas...the Arabian sea, the Bay of Bengal and the Indian Ocean...get united. It is a tourist destination...with thousands and thousands of people visiting it for its serene beauty and breathtaking sunrise and sunset.


I visited Kanyakumari many years ago but the memory of the sunset I saw there....unforgettable and divine. It was very crowded there that evening. There were many vendors trying to sell their stuff and lots of people around. But that moment when the sun starts to set...you get oblivious to everything around you...completely lost in that moment...hearing only the sound of the water flowing...not wanting to miss even a single second of that beautiful sight.


As the sun shines brightly, tourists from all over the world start to gather. And then the sun slowly starts to lower itself as everyone waits with bated breath. As the sun goes lower and lower, it paints the sky in so many different colors...red, yellow, orange....cannot describe in words how beautiful the sky looks at that time. And then slowly... surrounded by its many colored drape....the sun disappears into the water below. Postively one of the most serene experiences of my life.


Signing off marvelling at the fact that while the sun is setting in one part of the world, it is rising in another and this quote by Carl R. Roger


'One of the most satisfying experiences I know is fully to appreciate an individual in the same way I appreciate a sunset. When I look at a sunset...I don't find myself saying 'Soften the orange a little more on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple along the base, and use a little more pink in the cloud color...' I don't try to control a sunset, I watch it with awe as it unfolds.'

Frozen moments

Some moments in our life get frozen in time. Some good, some bad...these moments stay deeply rooted in our memory....we can never forget them.


A few hours after my son's birth, I remember hearing loud cries from the labor room nearby. My doctor later told me that the lady in that room had some complications during labor and they had not been able to save her baby. The cries I had heard was the anguish of a mother who had lost her child. That sad moment has frozen in time for me. Every year, on the day of my son's birthday, amidst all the joy and happiness, I always think of that mother who experienced immense sadness on the very same day that I had experienced overwhelming joy.

After my marriage, my first visit to India was one and a half years later after we came to the US. I still remember clearly everything that was happening as the plane started to land at Mumbai airport. The excitement and happiness that I felt knowing that it was only a very short while before I would see my parents and sister again after a very long time...there are no words to describe those feelings. That happy moment has frozen in time for me.


Some years back, my beloved uncle passed away unexpectedly. He was more like an elder brother to me. I was here in the US at the time and the news of his death came as an unexpected shock. I had just met him a few months ago when I had been to India. Little did I know that when he told me goodbye then...it was to be goodbye forever...that goodbye has frozen in time for me.


When I was seven months pregnant with my son, I had started feeling grouchy and irritable...the commute to work was long, work was hectic, there were always never ending chores to be done at home, the pregnancy had started to take its toll and I was just tired. One such morning, after the long train ride to get to work, I decided to take a cab to get to my office instead of making the long walk. As I reached my place of work, I got down and handed the cab driver his fare and tip. He smiled and said...Thanks for the tip, ma'am. I smiled back. And to that he said...And thank you for that million dollar smile. Keep smiling always.... His passing remark has frozen in time for me. He turned around the day for me and lifted my spirits up....and yes, even today, when I feel low and down, I remember that moment and remember to smile.


Signing off knowing that my frozen moments in time are mine and mine alone and these passing thoughts


I remember the first time I heard my husband's amazing laughter
I remember the first cries of my children when they were born
I remember the moments when my children first called me 'Mom'
I remember my children taking their first footsteps
I remember the first time I ate a mutton frankie at Churchgate station with a very dear friend
I remember the first time I ate tiramisu.
I remember the first time I played on the slot machines in Las Vegas
I remember the first day of my son's preschool...the day he was to be away from me for the very first time
I remember the first day of my son's kindergarten class...I met another mom who went on to become a very dear friend
I remember these and the countless other moments that are frozen in time for me......

Nature's fury

We know her as Mother Nature. But when she decides to show her furious side, there is nothing humans can do but wait for her to calm down.


Lately, I have been reading the news reports about the floods in Australia. Truly heartbreaking stories of lives lost. One such story is of Jordan Rice, a 13 year old boy who asked a rescuer to save his little brother Blake before himself. Jordan Rice and his mother Donna were swept away by the flood waters and drowned before they could be rescued. Jordan's father who survived, mentioned later that Jordan could not swim and was terrified of water. Yet, when it came to making a choice, his love for his brother triumphed over his fear and ended up with him making the ultimate sacrifice.


Nature has wreaked havoc in so many places and in so many forms. Be it earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, volcanoes, tsunamis, avalanches or blizzards, when Nature gets furious, there is always immeasurable loss and destruction.


I remember when Mumbai was flooded in July 2005. I woke up one morning and as is habit switched on my laptop to read the day's news while sipping on my morning tea. To my surprise, all the Indian newspapers were filled with pictures and pictures of Mumbai being submerged in water. I mentioned to my husband...looks like it really rained heavily in Mumbai...I am going to call and find out if everyone is okay. But nothing could have prepared me for what I was to hear when I made that call. It had rained so heavily that the entire city of Mumbai had been flooded. Dad had not been able to come back home and so had stayed the night at his office. But it was Mom's story that gave me goose bumps. My Mom, a kindergarten teacher, had spent the entire night in her school bus filled with kindergarten students. The school bus had been submerged in water and there was no way for it to move anywhere...it was basically at a standstill. As the night set in and the water kept rising, my mom says she did not think any of them would make it to the next morning. There was no means to be rescued at that point because there was too much water everywhere. There was also no way of informing the parents of the students in the bus. So the parents basically spent the entire night not knowing where their children were. I cannot imagine being that mom who has to spend the night not knowing where her six year old is. Next morning, as the water started to slowly settle down, my mom and all the children were able to get out of the bus with the help of random strangers. There were countless lives lost in Mumbai that day. But the rains had failed to dampen the spirit of the people of Mumbai where strangers were on the road helping each other.


My own experiences with natural disasters are only the few earthquake tremors I felt while living in California. But at that moment, the fear that runs through your body and mind is paralyzing. The fact remains that if a natural disaster is happening, there is nothing one can do to stop it...that feeling of helplessness is downright scary.


Signing off remembering with sadness all those who lost their lives to natural disasters and this quote by Margaret Laurence


'Know that although in the eternal scheme of things you are small, you are also unique and irreplaceable, as are all your fellow humans everywhere in the world.'

The color PINK

The pink ribbon is an international symbol for breast cancer awareness. The pink ribbon and the color PINK is used to express moral support for women with breast cancer.


Early last year, a dear childhood friend was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 35. I am extremely happy to say that due to early detection and speedy treatment, she is on her way to making a full recovery. I salute her strength and admire her spirit that has pulled her through some very difficult times.


According to the American Cancer society, any of the following unusual changes in the breast can be a symptom of breast cancer:

• swelling of all or part of the breast
• skin irritation or dimpling
• breast pain
• nipple pain or the nipple turning inward
• redness, scaliness or thickening of the nipple or breast skin. The skin may have ridges or pitting that makes it look like the skin of an orange.
• unusual discharge from the nipple
• lump in the underarm area

These changes can also be the signs of less serious conditions that are not cancerous. However, it is important to get any breast changes checked out promptly by a doctor.

Doctors recommend that women have regular clinical breast exams and mammograms to find breast cancer early. A mammogram is an x-ray picture of tissues inside the breast. Mammograms can often show a breast lump before it can be felt.

• Women in their 40s and older should have mammograms every one or two years.
• Women who are younger than 40 and have risk factors for breast cancer should ask their health care provider whether to have mammograms and how often to have them.

Signing off with a prayer for all those battling cancer and these lines from the poem 'Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening' by Robert Frost

'But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep'

The color GREEN

I was reading Amitabh Bachchan's blog last night and in it he mentioned that he was at an award function in Cochin, Kerala. That set me thinking about my own experiences with Kerala.

I was born and raised in Mumbai but my parents are from Kerala. Every summer vacation we would make a trip to Kerala since my grandparents lived there. Sadly, as a child, I never appreciated those trips as much as I should have. The question to my parents always was...Why do we have to go there every summer vacation? And now, years later when I am here in the US and look forward eagerly to summer holidays so I can make a trip to India to see my parents...I have the answer to that question.

I truly started appreciating the beauty of Kerala when I had the opportunity to visit the place with my best friend and her mom just months before I got married. I consider myself very lucky to have made that trip....as that trip was an eye-opener. As the train rolled into Kerala, I sat up and noticed how beautiful the place was. Greenery as far as you could see...the green of the trees, the green of the fields, the green landscape...Beautiful!

During that trip, we visited several places in Kerala...the Kovalam beach (the first time in my life that I had seen a beach with water as blue as that), many sightseeing places in Ernakulam (each more beautiful than the other), some villages there (so simple yet so beautiful). And I realized just how much I had missed out on appreciating the beauty of Kerala during all the visits I had made there as a child.

After my marriage, we were able to visit Kerala only twice. Both the times, as we stepped out of the airport at Cochin, we could not stop admiring the greenery around us. During both the visits we spent 3-4 days at resorts in Kerala.

The first resort was at Cherai Beach. That was a wonderful experience. In the morning, we took long walks on the beach....In the afternoon, we indulged in the mouth-watering fish dishes prepared by the cooks at the resort...In the evening we played on the beach with our son...As nighttime approached, we enjoyed the sunset at the beach....And all day long, we simply feasted our eyes at the greenery around us.

The second resort was at Athirapally waterfalls (Yes, also the location for Mani Ratnam's movie 'Raavan'...in fact, they were shooting for the movie nearby while we were at the resort). The scenic beauty of this place cannot be described in words. As we sat outside our room, we could see tall mountains, the lush green forest and the river flowing by. So peaceful!

I have seen many places in India and US which have a lot of greenery. But for me the color GREEN will always mean Kerala...the place where I spent many a summer holidays, the place teeming with tall coconut trees, the place famous for its backwaters, the place where my parents spent their childhood, the place aptly called 'God's own country'.

Signing off thinking about the natural beauty of Kerala and this passing thought..

'Did you know that the National Geographic Society described Kerala as one of the 50 must see destinations of a lifetime?'

The color WHITE

Last week, the weather reports said there was going to be a huge snowstorm over the weekend on Sunday night. It was going to be our first big snowfall after we moved here so we were wondering how it would be.

Sunday morning...clear skies, no snow, cold but normal for this time of the season...we even stepped out of the house to go shopping. Sunday evening...still clear...did not look like there was going to be any snowfall at all. By 8.30 pm Sunday night the county had declared all schools closed...but still no signs of any snowfall or change in the weather. And then at 10 pm it started to snow...it snowed...and snowed...and snowed. The snow kept falling from the sky...like tiny little white pearls and in an hour, the ground was completely covered. My children were excited...my daughter touched the snow and said 'Cold'...my son was happy to see the snow but happier that he had an unexpected school holiday the next day..(His mom was happy about the same thing too...no early morning rush?...Bliss!)

It snowed all night long. The next morning as I looked outside my house...I was greeted by the most beautiful sight...the white sky and the white ground looked in sync with each other...it was hard to tell where one stopped and the other began. In between the white there were tiny sporadic bursts of other colors on things that the snow had not covered...the green of the trees, the black of the mailbox, the brown of the fences, the deep red bricks of the houses around us...but the dominant and most striking color was WHITE.

That afternoon we bundled ourselves up and stepped outside to play in the snow. It was like being instantly transported to a vacation destination. As we threw snowballs at each other, I kept thinking about how brilliant the human brain is...human beings even figured out how to build an igloo from snow and call it home...Amazing!

I know that the fact that we did not have to drive anywhere (schools and offices were closed), did not have to shovel our driveway, did not have to deal with the extreme cold outside made our first big snow experience a memorable one. And I guess we will deal with all that when we have to...but for now it is pure magic.

Signing off marvelling at the many wonders of nature and this quote by J.B.Priestley

"The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?"

A Mother and A Daughter

I am a daughter to my mother and a mother to my daughter. Kind of been on both sides of the bridge....and realized that the perspective from both sides is totally different.


A mother-daughter relationship...unique...like a roller coaster...a fair share of its ups and downs. Especially in the daughter's teenage years. Mostly downs then I think. A huge generation gap...the daughter not understanding the mother's point of view at all. During those times, my mother had only one thing to say to me....you will understand when you are a mother yourself. And today I understand. As I stand firm when I am disciplining my children, as I lay down the ground rules, as I give them 'that look' when they are not behaving, as I hurt inside when they are hurt, as I laugh uncontrollably when they laugh, as my heart swells with pride when I look at them....I understand.


A mother....a daughter's mirror. She is not afraid to mince words ...say things the way they are. A mother....a source of steadfast strength. My own mother....she has stood by me at all times I needed her the most....like a rock.


Many years ago, I watched a short story on television. It was the story of a mother and daughter who always fought with each other. The daughter just did not like her mother telling her what to do. So much so that she openly said...only Daddy loves me, you hate me. Then the daughter got married. The next day after her marriage...the day she was leaving her house for good...as she was outside about to step into the car....only her Dad was outside....her Mom was nowhere around. She was annoyed and told her Dad...Mom must be so happy that I am finally leaving...She is not even here to tell me bye...I am going to go inside and tell her that I am happy to be going away from her too. Saying this, she stepped inside the house and found her mother in her own room (the daughter's room) looking outside the window. As she stepped into the room, her mother turned around. She was crying. Seeing her daughter, she broke down uncontrollably and said....How am I ever going to live another day without seeing you?... It was at that moment that the daughter finally realized how much her mother loved her. That is a mother's love...vast, deep and not needing to be shouted from rooftops.


As my daughter grows up, I know we will have our own share of ups and downs. But in the end when she is all grown up...I hope that like my mom is to me...I will become my daughter's best friend too.


To my own Mom...from you I learnt to be organized, to be disciplined and to be strong. If I am even a quarter of a mother to my children that you have been to me...I know I will have done an excellent job.


Signing off proud to be a daughter and a mother and these lines from a Hindi movie song

Usko nahin dekha hamne kabhi par iski zaroorat kya hogi
Ey Maa teri soorat se alag bhagwan ki soorat kya hogi
(Transalated as - We never saw God ever, but what is the need...
O mother, how can god's face be any different from yours?)

The sound of silence

'What is this life if full of care .... We have no time to stand and stare.'


The beginning lines from one of my most favorite poems 'Leisure' by 'W.H.Davies'. Whenever I am busy trying to fit in at least a 100 things in a day....I always think of these lines. Let's face it....we live in a world full of stress and pressure. No matter which part of the world we are in, who we are or what we do, the demands are constant and the pressures incessant....to do, to act, to perform. There is just no escaping that. That is just the way it is.


Sometime back, I was watching a television programme on Yoga where it was recommended to practice at least 10 minutes of meditation every day to relieve stress. Meditation....where you sit down comfortably, close your eyes, block out all thoughts and do NOTHING. Easy enough, right? Not quite so when I first tried it. Because as far as I can remember, I have not really been thought-free. My mind is always filled with to-do lists, things to be done, things to be planned out....the wheels are in constant motion....and yes, just general thoughts too because I do tend to think too much about everything! So to sit down and not have a single thought in my head was quite a challenge. Almost next to impossible, I thought. But I figured it out...how to let my thoughts kind of flow in through one ear and out the other....for the 10 minutes that I was sitting down wanting to do nothing. And that experience....to be thought free and still for 10 minutes....only one word to describe that feeling....Surreal. It was amazing how after those ten minutes I felt instantly relaxed and at peace. In those ten minutes, I heard sounds that have always been around me...but I never did pay any attention to them...the clocks ticking in my house (tick tock tick tock), the birds chirping on the trees outside (so melodious!), my own breathing (in and out, in and out)...and the best and sweetest sound of all...the sound of nothing...the sound of silence (so serene!) And today, meditating for 10 minutes every day has become a wonderful habit....which not only declutters my mind but also completely relaxes me. Simply amazing!


Signing off to go enjoy my 10 minutes of 'NOTHINGNESS' and today, absolutely not one single passing thought in my head.

A life-changing moment

Sometimes life hands you an unexpected moment....totally out of the blue...it hits you out of nowhere. And when that moment has passed, it has changed you and your perspective on life.

Many years ago, when I was in Mumbai, I had to take the local train to get to work. The journey from my home to my place of work took me about an hour. As most people know, there are a few unique things about Mumbai's local trains. There are separate compartments for ladies and gents...most ladies travel by the ladies compartment. Another unique thing is the vendors (usually children) who come to sell small items like bangles, earrings, etc. Some children also come and sing songs and in return ask for some money. These children are very poor and these are some of the ways they try to make a living.

One Saturday afternoon, when I took the train back home, the train was not very crowded. There was no place to sit though and so I stood at the entrance feeling the wind on my face as the train rolled on. A few stations later, a small boy got in and he sat down near the entrance opposite to me. He was about 10 or 11 years old and had a box in his hand. As the train left the station, he started drumming on the box and singing a song. He sang really well and I stood there mesmerized by his singing. When the song was done, I took out some money from my purse and handed it to him. He looked stunned and asked...'What is this for?' I said, 'For your song, of course'. He smiled and said, 'Memsaab, I polish shoes...that is what I do for a living. I don't sing songs for money. I sing because it makes me really happy. I can't take money for that.' My turn to look stunned. At that moment, that little boy stood big and tall and in front of of him, I felt small and inconsequential.

It's been 15 years but the memory of that incident is so vivid that when I think back I can even hear the sound of the running train in the background.


That day, that little boy taught me an important life lesson. Some things you do in life for the simple reason that they make YOU happy. Period.


So today, do one thing that makes you happy...read a book (or a chapter from a book), sing a song, listen to a song, call up a friend, write to a friend, play a tune, dance, try out a new recipe, take a walk, exercise, say a prayer...just one thing that makes YOU happy. Me....by writing on my blog...I am already doing my one thing.


Signing off feeling happy and content and these passing thoughts.

Happiness is.....receiving unexpected hugs and kisses from my children.
Happiness is.....talking to a friend and really laughing.
Happiness is.....when all doors have closed and an unexpected one opens.
Happiness is.....sipping my morning tea while listening to a favorite song.
Happiness is.....finding something wonderful that I wasn't even looking for.
Happiness is.....when a random stranger compliments me on my smile.
Happiness is.....feeling truly loved.