The 'H's of my life

Half - The name is HALF....my better half....my spouse....my life partner....my husband of 13 years this June. Ours was an arranged marriage and I have faced many questions about arranged marriages here in the US where an arranged marriage is an alien concept. In India though arranged marriages are quite common. And whether you go the love route or the arranged route, you end up in the same place....in a marriage....a union of two different individuals from different families, different styles of upbringing....each coming into the marriage with their own set of expectations. And finally, every marriage requires give and take, adjustments from both partners and a deep sense of understanding and maturity. So my husband, my life partner who is also the best father our kids could have is easily the most important H of my life....I cannot imagine my life without him in it.

Happiness - I read somewhere that 'HAPPINESS is a state of mind'...I agree. We all have our life's glass not filled completely at any point of time.....human beings will always have needs, desires and wants that are unfulfilled....so it depends on how you want to look at it.....either you can find the glass half empty or half full. If you find it half empty, it will lead to frustration and sadness because of all the things you don't have. If you perceive it as half full, you can be happy with all the things that you do have....indeed, Happiness is but a state of mind. So does this mean I am happy always? Not at all. I have my days of feeling low and down.....and those are the days I remind myself to look at my half full glass.

Humour - I admire....really really admire people with a sense of HUMOUR. Making others cry can be done easily....but making others laugh is possibly the hardest thing to do. So, I really admire the people who see humour in everything. And I do understand that it is not as if these people don't have their share of the baggage of worries and frustrations....they just choose not to display it and use humour as a shield to tackle it.....a quality that I want to imbibe in my life.

Humility - I am a huge fan of cricketer Sachin Tendulkar (the fact that he is a fellow Taurean makes me proud to be a Taurean too)....but it is not just his cricketing skills that I am a fan of...it is his HUMILITY also. I really admire that....to be so successful in what you do that people call you 'God' and to not let that kind of success go to the head, is by no means an easy feat. Many many years ago, when I worked for LIC (Life Insurance Corporation of India), Sachin Tendulkar's mother worked for the same company in another division. Sachin Tendulkar was already a household name by then. One afternoon, my friends and I went to meet Sachin Tendulkar's mother. She was the most simple and down to earth person I had ever met. And while there was pride when she talked about her famous son, there was no arrogance. It was easy to see where Sachin Tendulkar gets his humility from....it has to be his mother's upbringing. So humility is a quality that I would not only like to imbibe but also pass on to my children when I am raising them.

Hope - Hope...an integral part of everyone's life....mine too. I hope for so many things....I hope good things never come to an end....I hope bad things will pass quickly....I hope my loved ones never get sick....I always hope that things can only get better and sometimes I even hope against hope. Hope....the thing that keeps us going even when faced with the worst situations in life.

Signing off knowing that the 'H's of my life would be incomplete if I did not mention 'Health' (most important...everything else is insignificant if your health is not good), 'Home' (My home...sweet home), 'Hindi' movies (I am completely entertained by mindless Hindi movies with songs, dances, lots of color, drama, romance and emotions) and 'Honda' (the make of the car I drive everyday) and this quote by Helen Keller

'I am only one but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.'

The 'G's of my life

Geeta - Many years ago, when I was born to my parents, my father sent a letter to my late grandfather (his father) in Kerala. In that letter was a list of names that my parents had chosen and my grandfather was asked to pick one name from that list. And since my mother's name starts with G, he chose the name 'GEETA' which became my name. My parents did not believe in pet names, nick names or shortened names and so to them I was always 'Geeta'....only the tone by which they said it differed depending on the circumstances......lovingly (99.99% of the time), with annoyance (come on, every child annoys their parents at some time or the other), with pride (when they talk about me to relatives and friends) and with sadness (when I was leaving my house after my marriage and everytime again when they come to say goodbye to me at Mumbai airport when I am flying back to the US after a trip to India). Now I answer to many names....Geetu, Mummy, Mumma, Chechi, Aunty, Geets, Geeth.....yet I will always introduce myself as....My name is Geeta.....and though there are many other Geetas in this world, my name is unique to me and when the people in my life think of Geeta....they think of me.

Girl - I am not exactly a girl anymore.....a woman now....a wife and a mother....yet always a GIRL at heart. Being a girl child is difficult for many girls in India. There is a lot of gender discrimination between boys and girls in many parts of India. A sad but true reality. I am lucky to have parents who believed in giving their daughters the best education and who provided us with a good and happy home. Many girls in India don't get this....girls are looked upon as a burden and a liability. Hopefully with more and more people getting educated, the winds of change are blowing in the right direction and every girl child in India will be able to lead a life of independence and have the ability to make her own life choices.

God - I believe in GOD....that there exists a powerful entity above all of us. My belief is a source of strength for me and has pulled me through some very difficult and trying times.

Grateful - I am GRATEFUL for everything in my life thus far.....all the positive experiences and for all the negative experiences also.....because it is the sum of these experiences which have defined who I am today.

Signing off thankful for 'Grins', 'Greenery' and 'Google' and this quote by 'Galileo'

'I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.'

The 'F's of my life

Family - My FAMILY....my parents, my sister, my husband, my children and the many other family members in my life....Family....most of whom we do not have a say in choosing....Family....people who are destined to be in our lives....I am blessed to have a family that loves me and whom I love.

Friends - The people whom I met through the different phases of my life....school, college, work, my husband's friends, my son's friends' parents.....and whom I chose to have stay on in my life but more importantly who chose to let me stay on in theirs. To me, my FRIENDS are like a rainbow in the sky. Just like a rainbow is of different colors, my friends are of different kinds and my relationship with each of them is unique...but just like a rainbow does, all my friends too fill my heart with joy and happiness.

Feelings - Sometimes, I feel happy....sometimes, I feel sad. At times, I feel cranky, upset, annoyed, bored or angry and at other times, I feel curious, sympathetic, impulsive, optimistic, loving, sensitive, understanding, amazed, lucky, peaceful, passionate, loved, anxious and all these FEELINGS make me....ME.

Fears - I have some petty FEARS....which I am almost embarrassed to list....fear of cockroaches, rats, dogs....Then I had a fear which took me a long time to conquer...fear of driving a car. But the biggest fear in my life .....possibly also the biggest fear in everyone's life would be the fear of losing the ones I love.

Facebook - The 'F's of my life would be so incomplete if I did not mention the social networking site FACEBOOK. It has brought me back in touch with so many long lost friends and it has helped me make so many new friends.

Fifty - Just for today, just for this blog post, FIFTY is an important F in my life....This post....which I timed so that it would be the 'F's of my life is my 50th blog post. Four months ago, at the insistence of a friend (you know who you are), when I started this blog I had no idea what I would be writing about. But, I have surprised myself by writing on 50 topics. And to the 2 very important Fs of my life...my family and my friends who take the time to read my blog and who tell me to keep writing....a heartfelt thanks. It is your encouragement that has kept me going.

Signing off feeling 'Fantastic', 'Fabulous' and 'Full of life' and this quote by 'Franklin D. Roosevelt'

'One thing is sure. We have to do something. We have to do the best we know how at the moment....If it doesn't turn out right, we can modify it as we go along.'

The 'E's of my life

Expectations - Written performance reviews in companies usually have three standards: Exceeds expectations (you are doing your job better than expected), Meets expectations (you are meeting the job standards) and Does not meet expectations (you really need to pull up your socks and do better). I think we apply similar standards in our lives too. EXPECTATIONS - how we expect someone else to behave or how someone else expects us to behave. I think I have been most hurt in my life when the other person did not behave the way I expected him/her to.....now that I think of it, not the other person's fault, just my own expectations of the other person not being met. Similarly when someone expects too much from me, I always wonder if it is possible to live up to those high expectations. Perhaps, it is not reasonable to have expectation from anybody. That way if they meet or exceed expectations, one can be pleasantly surprised....if not, then at least there is no feeling of hurt or disappointment.

Enthusiasm - Have you noticed how enthusiastic and full of life children are? As we grow into adults.....the responsibilities and stark realities of life cause this enthusiasm to ebb and fade away. So, this is one quality I am learning all over again from my children. My kitchen window overlooks a deck....sometimes a squirrel visits us there...and my children get all excited about this visitor....and their ENTHUSIASM is so contagious. A little thing as that brings them so much joy. So from my children I am learning to be like that.....enthusiastic and excited about all the little things in life.

Excellence - My mother used to tell me....If you do something, do it well...If you are going to do it half heartedly, don't do it at all....An important lesson that has stayed with me throughout life. So, EXCELLENCE is something I strive for in everything I do.....and whether I achieve it or not, I know I have given my hundred percent to the task at hand.

Efforts - One thing I learnt very early on in life is nothing is achieved without EFFORTS....Hard work is required in whatever you do. Nothing comes easy....take a look at all the successful people in different fields...are they just lucky?....No, they have worked very hard to get to where they are.

Experience - Have you gone through those moments in your teens when your parents say something to you which makes no sense to you at all.....to which they say....listen to us...we speak from EXPERIENCE. Experience....a great teacher. I am old enough now to have had my fair share of life experiences. And one thing I have realised.....any current decisions I make are always based on my experiences good or bad. I rely on my experience to show me the way when faced with decision making.

Signing off feeling 'ELATED' and 'ECSTATIC' as my best friend from school days is visiting me today and this quote by "EDGAR' Allen Poe

'There is an eloquence in true enthusiasm.

Hachi

Over the weekend, I watched the English movie 'Hachi: A Dog's tale'. It is the story of a dog named Hachi and his loyalty towards his master (played by Richard Gere). It is based on the true story of Hachiko, an Akita dog who continued to wait for his master at Tokyo's Shibuya station every day at the precise time that his master's train arrived at the station.....continued to wait for nine years after his master's death....as one day his master died while at work and never returned. But the loyal dog not understanding this fact continued to wait for his master for nine long years until he himself passed away one day.

The movie made me think about how it is difficult to come to terms with the loss of a loved one. Some years back, my uncle passed away due to a sudden heart attack. The age gap between my mother and her younger brother was significant and so my uncle was more like an elder brother to my sister and me. When the news of his death came, I was here in the US. I remember sitting in my backyard that evening staring up at the sky and trying to deal with my grief. In the days that followed I was like Hachi ....unable to come to terms with my loss. I would wake up at nights quite convinced that it was all a dream. I would sit in front of the computer going through his emails and get the insane thought to write him an email....hoping against hope that maybe he would write back. I would be tempted to pick up the phone to call him and hope to hear his voice on the other side of the line. I went through the motions of life feeling detached and very alone in my grief. Because even though there were many others dealing with his loss....my grandparents (in front of whom he took his last breath), my aunt (who had lost her life partner at a very young age), my 5 year old cousin (who had lost his father), my mother (who had lost a brother), my father, my sister....I was alone in my grief just us they were alone in theirs....my grief was based on the dynamics of my relationship with my uncle.....and my loss was mine alone. I realized one thing at that time...no matter how much one can empathize at someone else's loss of their loved one....unless you deal with it yourself.....you cannot fathom how profound and deep that sorrow is. This May, it will be 6 years since my uncle left us. For the last 6 years, I have not been able to call him, hear his voice, write to him, see him, share my joys and sorrows with him. With the passage of time....the tears have dried....the wounds have healed but the scar remains. His absence has left a void that can never be filled. And yet, for us....the people he left behind....life goes on....just as it should.....he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Signing off missing my uncle very much and this quote by Washington Irving

'There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief.....and unspeakable love.'

The 'D's of my life

Doubt - DOUBT.....self doubt.....a significant, can't get rid of D of my life. Whenever I am faced with something new or challenging, this D raises its ugly head and makes me stop in my tracks. The temptation to not go ahead is strong leading to an inner battle with my self doubts. Thanks to my family and friends who believe in me and my abilities, this D has rarely won. But that does not make the doubts go away or vanish...they always make a reappearance whenever another new or challenging thing comes up....so sadly the doubts are always there ....but I work very hard to make sure that this D does not get a chance to win.

Destiny - I am a big believer in DESTINY. Some things are just meant to be. My first job here in the US was a temporary placement through a recruiting firm. I still remember my client interview for this first job. As I walked into the room, I was greeted by the controller of the company who was to be my interviewer. At the end of the interview she asked me when I could start the job. Within a few months the company decided that they wanted to hire me and I was offered a permanent position with them which I took. My interviewer became my boss and also a close friend. When she changed jobs, she recommended me for a position in another department within her new company. I interviewed there and got the job. When my son was born, I decided to leave my full time job. I was offered a work from home position for the company and many years later today I still work for them from home. It was destiny which took me to that room for my very first interview with my ex-boss who today is one of my closest friends....my son calls her Aunt and her husband is uncle to him. Destiny....some things are just meant to be. When I look back at my life, there are many such instances where things happened because they were destined.....there really is no other explanation.

Dreams - Not the ones you see with your eyes closed, but the ones you see with your eyes wide open. Lots of DREAMS in my eyes. One childhood dream was to learn the Bharatnatyam....a form of Indian classical dance. In my childhood I was very keen on learning this dance form but circumstances did not allow me to fulfill this dream and it stayed a dream. Recently, I learnt of a dance teacher who teaches Bharatnatyam to adults who have never learnt it before. The once a week classes are held at her home which is very close to my home. Yes, I am starting my Bharatnatyam training this week....yes, as always, the doubts are there...will I do it well, will I be able to learn it....but much much more than doubts there is happiness...at finally being able to translate one dream into reality.

Direction - At any given point of time, I like to know what DIRECTION my life is taking. When things are unclear, it unsettles me, causes me to worry. A friend once made this remark about me.....'For you, there is a place for everything and everything in its place'..I think that summarizes me aptly. If at any point, I feel life has become directionless and is spinning out of control....I try to take a step back to see what needs to be done differently.

Signing off always wanting to keep learning new things so that life never becomes 'Dull' and 'Drab' and this quote by 'Deepak' Chopra

'Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution'.

Don't settle

A few weeks ago, I was shopping at a store. Right behind me were a mother and daughter shopping for some accessories. The daughter must have been about 22-23 years of age. The mother was looking for a particular kind of chain but I guess she was not finding what she was looking for. So she picked up another chain and told her daughter....I guess this will do. The daughter's annoyance was quite evident in her voice as she told her mother....No Mom...keep looking...Don't settle!

Pearls of wisdom, I think.....Don't settle.

Now, I do believe life is about adjustments. No human being can achieve that perfect life that they dream of and in reality, adjustments are needed all the time. But 'settling'....that should not happen.

If you are staying on in an abusive relationship, then you are settling. Please, please get out of it....don't settle. No human being has the right to physically, mentally or emotionally abuse another human being. And if you are at the receiving end of such abuse....no matter what excuses or reasons you have for staying on in such a relationship....you are settling for much less than what you really deserve.

If you wake up in the morning and feel depressed about going to work....you are settling again. But here 2 things could be happening. Firstly, the job is not up to your expectations....so perhaps it is time to look for another more suitable job? Secondly, and I think a much more common reason, the problem lies within you and you are just not giving your hundred percent to the job. Yes, many of us don't do a job to our full potential...thereby not meeting the job's expectations and making us frustrated and unhappy....by not doing our best, we are sadly settling again. The solution to that can be best expressed with the dialogue from the Hindi movie '3 idiots'....'Excellence ke peeche bhaago, success jhak mar kar aapke peeche bhaagegi'. (Translated as: Chase excellence, success will follow). So, don't settle either by having a job that does not meet your expectations....or not working to your full potential and thus not meeting the job's expectations.

I think most settling happens because of self-doubt and lack of confidence. Also, to not settle requires guts, the courage to put up a fight and a serious self-analysis. I myself suffer from self-doubts and lack of confidence many a times but I have learnt that the only way to deal with that is to 'grab the bull by its horns'. My thinking has changed to ....Unless I try it I won't know if I will succeed or fail. If I succeed, good. If I fail, at least I would have tried and known it wasn't meant for me. Some of us are lucky to have friends and family who believe in us...who help us reach our potential and who never let us settle for less. I am one of those lucky ones.

Signing off thankful for the people in my life who continue to boost my confidence in myself and who help me to never settle for less and this quote by Nelson Mandela

'There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than one you are capable of living'.

The 'C's of my life

Cricket - Cricket, the only sport I follow with a passion. Like millions of other Indians, this game evokes many emotions in me.....happiness (when India wins a game), tension (when the game is a close one and our chances of winning or losing are equally the same), irritation (when our players become out or drop catches) and infinite pride (when India won the World Cup recently). There is something about this game which makes it such a unifying factor for Indians. I was watching the World Cup matches recently and realized that the stadium was filled with spectators of all kinds....politicians, actors, businessmen (and women), people from all religions, the common man....and at that time, it did not matter who they were or which walk of life they came from. There was only one thing on each and every mind....CRICKET.

Cooking - I love to cook. I am not making any claims about being a great chef....I am not one. But I enjoy cooking. The process of cutting, dicing, grinding, stirring....the aromas of the food I am making....the sound when the mustard seeds pop or the sizzle when the chopped onions are dropped into the hot oil....are all highly therapeutic for me....I find the process highly relaxing. Of course there are days....some very busy days or some very tired days when cooking does some like a 'Cumbersome Chore' but for the most part, COOKING (especially trying out new recipes) is an important 'C' of my life.

Choices - I think finally life is all about the CHOICES one makes. And the choices in my life are of two kinds.

One...the long term life changing choices. For instance, when I chose to marry my husband (and of course, he chose to marry me), the direction of my life changed. I moved to the US, became part of his family, his friends became my friends, where I lived, where I worked.....everything changed because of that one choice. So like I said, life is all about choices. Finally, the destination you will get to depends on the path you have chosen to walk on.

Two...the choices I make on a day to day basis. Recently, I had the good fortune to listen to a lecture on 'Work-Life balance' made by my friend's mother. She had spoken on the topic at the 'Women Leadership Summit' in Mumbai in February 2011. Since she is currently on a visit to the US, my friend arranged to have her speak on the topic again for those of us here. And one of the important points was how life was a balancing act between 5 things - Work, Health, Spirit, Friends and Family. The lecture was fantastic and I realized how my life was based on the choices I made every day...how I chose to prioritize between the 5 things on an everyday basis. So when I have a work deadline to meet, I choose 'Work'......when I exercise, I choose 'Health'......when I write for my blog, I choose what makes me happy, I choose 'Spirit'.....when I step out for a movie with a friend or I call or write to them, I choose 'Friends'.....and when I choose to spend time with my husband and kids, I choose 'Family. These everyday choices help me attain that very important balance in my life which is so essential for personal happiness and growth.

Change - Life is ever-changing. It can never remain the same. And while it is human nature to probably resist change (no one likes to step out of their comfort zones).....sometimes change can be good...I guess it depends on how you want to look at it. The biggest change in my life recently was when we moved from one state to another. So with the move, I left behind my old life.....my home, my friends of many years and many known constant factors of my life. So I could have felt sad and miserable. But the move was inevitable...so I chose to look at this way - I will make new friends, see new places and the most important thing....my family (my husband and children) will be with me wherever I am. So in a nutshell, CHANGE can be interesting....it can keep you 'Challenged' .....so whether change means a new relationship, a new job, a new place to live....change can if taken in the right perspective, help you evolve.

Signing off always open to 'Constructive criticism' as it has only helped me better myself and this quote by 'Confucius'

'The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential......these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.'

India against corruption

It is Friday night, April 8th 2011, in India....in Delhi, India at the Jantar Mantar is a 71 year old man named Anna Hazare who is on a fast unto death since April 5th, 2011 as part of the movement initiated by him for passing a stronger anti-corruption Jan Lokpal bill in the Indian parliament. Yes, you read that right...he is 71 years old and yes, he is on a hunger strike which means he hasn't eaten for the last 3 days. And why is he doing this? To raise a voice against corruption, an issue that has become so rampant in India that it definitely needs to be addressed and tackled.

What is the Jan Lokpal bill? The bill is an Act to create effective anti-corruption systems and a means to provide effective protection to whistle blowers.

How are people contributing to the movement? People in India...the common man....have become so tired at the corruption prevailing in the country that they have come out in full support for the movement. Many have joined the fast, people are holding rallies all over the country (I hope that these rallies continue to remain peaceful...else the issue at hand will be sidelined), the social media sites are all talking about it and many are writing letters to the government in order to get the bill passed. For those interested, the below are the addresses where you can send your letter of support:
1. Shrimati Sonia Gandhi
Head of U.P.A
10 Janpath
New Delhi -1
2. Shri Manmohan Singh Prime Minister - Indian govt
South Block
New Delhi - 1
3. Shri Veerappa Moily Law Minister - Indian govt
4th floor, Shashtri Bhavan
New Delhi -1

I salute Anna Hazare, a man who so strongly believes in his movement that he is willingly to risk his life for it. (Now, really, in today's day and age, how many of us would do that?)

So, I fully support Anna Hazare and the cause, but I must admit I am also full of questions. Once the bill gets passed, then what? Who will be accountable to see that the bill does what it is supposed to do? I guess I am (like many other Indians) so disillusioned by how things work in India as far as anti-corruption is concerned, that the doubts do arise. Again, the movement is against the people taking the bribes. What about those giving it? Can every person who is supporting this movement say that tomorrow when they are faced with the choice to pay a little extra money (just a little extra) and get their work done faster, or get out of a traffic fine, they won't pay that extra money? So, I am in a confused state...I would like to be preach idealism and all...but I really don't know what my choice would be if faced with such a situation in the future. So this is something we all need to think about, resolve and stick to.....that we ourselves will not support corruption in any way at any level no matter how small or insignificant we think it is.....because just like 'charity begins at home' the fight against corruption should begin at home too.

Signing off thinking about Anna Hazare, the frail man who is today standing tall and inspiring Indians everywhere to take a stand against corruption and this quote by him

'When a person learns to see beyond his self interest, he begins to get mental peace'

The 'B's of my life

Blog - Until some months back, this B did not exist in my life. But now that it is there, I cannot imagine my life without my Blog. It has possibly been one of the best things to have happened to me. Now, my blog helps me to follow my passion of writing and has become a wonderful outlet for my creativity. But more importantly, the blog has changed the way I perceive and look at things.....there is an added interest in everything I see or do...because there is always a potential blog post in everything that is happening around me. Not only that, when my family and friends read my blog posts and then send me messages or call me to tell me their opinion on the post or how it had an impact on them...it makes me feel good....not only because my work has been appreciated but also because that brings the person that much more closer to me. So, in a way, my blog has improved my relationship with my family and friends....I am a much more richer person because of it.

Books - I love to read.....nowadays due to lack of time, most of the reading happens over the Internet...news, articles, other blogs....but what I really love to read is a book. I travelled on a flight recently and the travel time was about 4 and a half hours. I had picked up a book to read on the flight and after many years, I actually read a book from start to finish in one sitting. Growing up, books were my companions during many a hot vacation summer afternoons when it would be too hot to step out of the house. And my passion for reading was such that once I started reading a good book I would not be able to put it down even carrying it with me on to the dinner table many a times....and promptly being yelled at by my Mom for that...very nostalgic memories. There is something about a good book which can make you lose yourself in it.....if the writer is good, he or she can take you literally on a journey through your imagination ....travel the world so to speak. Life has changed a lot from the time when I was a carefree teenager who could just read and read...so while not much reading happens now...I still read whenever I can...even squeezing in just a page or a chapter most days. There is a wonderful escape that books provide and so books are another very important B for me.

Balance - Balance.....something I have been very consciously trying to achieve in the past year or so. There was a late realization that dawned on me sometime last year. Before I had kids, I had a full time job and so work was all consuming at that time. And then when I had kids, I started working from home, so life became a juggling act between home and work. In all of this, one very important aspect got sidelined.....me. I had not been taking much time out to do the things I liked....and life was racing by quickly. That was when I decided that there needed to be a balance in my life between work, home and me. I had to find the time to do the things I liked in order to better myself personally, emotionally and spiritually. And so began the conscious effort to do more of the things I wanted...write more, listen to more music, read more, even pray more....and while life is still a juggling act between all the roles I play...there is a satisfaction due to the balance in the equation.....a balance which I think is important in every person's life.

Belief - I believe in a lot of things....God, karma, luck....but most importantly I believe that what is meant to be will be. This belief has always helped me put a very different perspective on a lot of things. So when I don't get something or something doesn't go my way.....even though there is sadness.... the belief that perhaps it just wasn't meant to be helps me deal with the situation without making me overly negative or bitter.

Signing off feeling 'Blissful' and 'Blessed' and this quote by 'Benjamin' Franklin

'Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.'