Hachi

Over the weekend, I watched the English movie 'Hachi: A Dog's tale'. It is the story of a dog named Hachi and his loyalty towards his master (played by Richard Gere). It is based on the true story of Hachiko, an Akita dog who continued to wait for his master at Tokyo's Shibuya station every day at the precise time that his master's train arrived at the station.....continued to wait for nine years after his master's death....as one day his master died while at work and never returned. But the loyal dog not understanding this fact continued to wait for his master for nine long years until he himself passed away one day.

The movie made me think about how it is difficult to come to terms with the loss of a loved one. Some years back, my uncle passed away due to a sudden heart attack. The age gap between my mother and her younger brother was significant and so my uncle was more like an elder brother to my sister and me. When the news of his death came, I was here in the US. I remember sitting in my backyard that evening staring up at the sky and trying to deal with my grief. In the days that followed I was like Hachi ....unable to come to terms with my loss. I would wake up at nights quite convinced that it was all a dream. I would sit in front of the computer going through his emails and get the insane thought to write him an email....hoping against hope that maybe he would write back. I would be tempted to pick up the phone to call him and hope to hear his voice on the other side of the line. I went through the motions of life feeling detached and very alone in my grief. Because even though there were many others dealing with his loss....my grandparents (in front of whom he took his last breath), my aunt (who had lost her life partner at a very young age), my 5 year old cousin (who had lost his father), my mother (who had lost a brother), my father, my sister....I was alone in my grief just us they were alone in theirs....my grief was based on the dynamics of my relationship with my uncle.....and my loss was mine alone. I realized one thing at that time...no matter how much one can empathize at someone else's loss of their loved one....unless you deal with it yourself.....you cannot fathom how profound and deep that sorrow is. This May, it will be 6 years since my uncle left us. For the last 6 years, I have not been able to call him, hear his voice, write to him, see him, share my joys and sorrows with him. With the passage of time....the tears have dried....the wounds have healed but the scar remains. His absence has left a void that can never be filled. And yet, for us....the people he left behind....life goes on....just as it should.....he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Signing off missing my uncle very much and this quote by Washington Irving

'There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief.....and unspeakable love.'