On March 8, 2011, International Women's Day, a girl named Radhika Tanwar bid goodbye to her family and left her home to go to college. As usual, she along with her friends took a bus to get to her South Delhi college. The bus dropped them opposite their college and they then had to take a foot-over bridge to get to the college. Just as 20 year old Radhika was walking on the bridge, someone shot her from behind. Radhika died within minutes. Her family was shocked. They could not understand what had happened....why would somebody want to kill Radhika? The police investigation started and in a few days, Radhika's killer was caught. And the story that unraveled was frightening. The person who killed Radhika was her 'stalker'. Three and a half years ago he had stalked Radhika who had complained to the local residents. They had bashed him up and the stalking had stopped. The guy was not someone known to Radhika....he was just a random stranger who used to see her regularly on the road and who had taken a liking to her. What Radhika did not know was that she had become an obsession for the guy. And even though three and a half years ago, he had left Delhi to go to Mumbai he had never stopped obsessing about her. He had returned to Delhi a few days before he shot Radhika. He had then approached Radhika again and tried to talk to her but she snubbed him. Humiliated, he had decided that if Radhika could not be his.....she would be no one's....and he killed her. Radhika had never mentioned any of this to any of her family members....not three years ago....not even three days ago....she chose not to share any of this with her family.....she chose to remain quiet....and ended up paying a heavy price for her silence.
As a young girl growing up in Mumbai, I myself have been at the receiving end of many stares, glares, passing snide vulgar comments from strangers....men...on the road. And it is not just me.....most young girls have faced this/still continue to face it. As you are waiting at the bus stop, in the bus, on your way to the train station, at the market....there is just no escaping it. And like most young girls, I chose to ignore it too....pretend it was not happening.....and never talked about it at home. (Of course, there never was a situation where someone harassed me or made me uncomfortable enough to make me need to talk to my family about it). The reasons most girls choose silence are many.....generation gap between parents and children, communication gap between parents and children, not wanting their parents to worry and the tendency of parents to over react. (Some parents restrict their daughter's activities upon hearing such things.....almost making the daughter out to be the culprit instead of the victim). In the process, daughters end up not feeling comfortable enough to talk to their parents. So parents, if you have young daughters....please sit down and talk to them....tell them to let you know if anyone....ANYONE....is making them uncomfortable with any kind of unwanted attention. Reassure your daughters that you will LISTEN to them.....that you will protect them....and will take care of the issue by reporting it to the proper authorities if needed. Because sometimes....in order to open up and speak to you....daughters need that reassurance.
Signing off hoping that what happened to Radhika Tanwar never happens again to any other girl and this quote by Winston Churchill
'Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen'
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